why. why oh why oh why.
try so hard to be different, but only to be the same.
or worse.
maybe that is different in the end.
no. i dont think that your insecurity is excuse enough. if you are lonely, then so be it. so many years, and you havent learnt a single thing? your life is one in a million, a drop in the bucket, the one that didnt cause a ripple. you life only to serve others and nothing quite like it as well. if there is pain, take the pain, and say nothing of it, because there will always be more.
your own folly is not for your defence, and you cannot say that because you are helping yourself, you cause another's pain. you cause your own pain to help another.
that is the way.
that is the way.
have you not learned the ways of this, sleeper?
have you not evolved in your ways of thinking?
you are not your own, nothing you own is your own, and nothing you gain will be yours.
perhaps only one thing you will own, your own suffering.
For this price you pay for everyone else.
what else?
what else?
what else.
loneliness is but a boolean value to you, true or false, it may be used to check for something else, but in the end, it will have no further effect upon you.
you will remain solitary for the rest of your life, and as such, the coming and going of the people around you will be the only constant.
till death do you part, you will part.
before that, nothing will come.
nothing.
wax, not yours, but mine.
you will be lonely, and you will more lonely as more people come, and find each other.
you will be the blur in the midst of traffic, the fleeting whisper of night.
the last thing on peoples minds, and the first thing they forget.
you will fall between the eyes of others, and out of their fields of vision, and you will know nothing.
you will learn, but you will know nothing.
and nothing, is what you will learn.
Nothingness, Nothingness. Sweet, sweet nothingness.
to you who read this do not judge,
but attempt to pity the poor soul.
but know that your pity will be for naught,
because it is not his fate to be thus.
only in absence.