1Bicket.

Broken. So, so broken.

2011-01-18T22:33:00.001+08:00

when this is over.

2011-01-17T16:44:00.001+08:00

i will be alone.

And have nothing to call my own.

-

would you rather be alone like this, or alone like that?

the stupid bar closes at 12.

2010-12-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

cant get used to your new name

sitting alone

with your new bike

thinking of you

drinking your favourite beer.

i wish you were here

but im done wishing

i wonder if theres anywhere else i can go

telling my secrets

to your red bicycle

we're talking a long walk

because we took a wrong turn

our trip stops short

when we run out of breath

we're wondering where we're running to

when we're in the middle of nowhere.

having a drink alone

what can be worse

i only know what having a pint alone is like

Nothing.

thats what its like.

im a parasite.

i dont even think im helping

im doing what i can

but nature is cruel

and this is so ridiculous

talking to myself.

think deeply

think further than you can ever wonder

there really is no where else i can go

im stuck here,

in this place

this is my doing.

lead me on

to the land of greener pastures

of the other side

because

all my dreams come true.

i am darker today inside than i ever was.

2010-10-12T18:41:00.001+08:00

2010-09-21T12:56:00.000+08:00

Ą̷͈̲̳͍̙̻̞̝̻̪͍̖̣̼̉ͧ̔ͭ̍̇͛ͩ̎̌̔͛̌ͮͮ́͢͞Ą͚̙̙̝̂̔͒ͬ̎͗̈́͛ͩ̇̐̾͛ͮ̅̃͆͐͡ͅA̸̶̢̘̯̗̺̙͛̔ͣ̾͊̓ͭ̄̂ͧͭͤ̽́́́̕Ą̫͍̼͎̱̻̬͎̳̪̻̿̾ͭͦ̂̅͘̕͜ͅA̛̾̒̌ͬͨ̆͆̂̄̉ͪ̉̕҉̡͍̙͈̱̹̮̖̥͍͜Á̴̴̧̨͚̲͙̼̳̙͇̤̹͔̻̭͖̰͈͈̇̍̎ͭ͊ͤ͑̊͟ͅA̷͚͙̭̮̖͈̠̹͊̔ͥ̒ͭ̑͂̿̀͟͡A̴̶̷̲̥̯̗̯͔̣̞͙̙͙̟͌͗̾̽̈ͫ̇ͭ̅̅̇̍͐̎͡A̧ͥͥ̌̈̃̇͑ͯ̌̃̆̓̄҉̙̩̬͍͉̦͉̞̟͚A̧ͯͬͤ̓ͫ̆ͨͤͦ̅̃ͧͮ̈́ͣ̎ͪ̍̚҉̡̜̟̻͖̬̪͙̪̺̗̹͙͇A̢̼̱̦͍̻̜̪̞̩͔̗̰̜̰͎̯͔̻͖̔̐̽̔͑A͖͚͕̘̼̲̝͛͐ͮ̿̔̄ͬ̊͠͝Ȁ̇̉̄̇̿̆ͫ̐̇ͭ̐̇̂̂҉̢̢͓̫͎͙̘̰̙͕͓̼̹A̵̴̖̤̥̭͕̻͎͉̖̳̼̝̟͍͔̼͋͐ͦͣ͊͒̀̚͞ͅÂ̷̸̛̜̙̝͔̟̩͈͈̪̟̔ͣͥ̎ͦ̐̈͊͋̄́ͅA̧̪̼̘̝͔͍̙͔̮͓̝̝̯̠̟̻̓̃̃͌ͧͪ̄̃̏̏̇̀̈̎ͯ̕͟͡ͅẠ̶̴̶̼̺̲̲̪̞̭̫̝̼͖͙̥͇̘̜̐̑͐ͪ̊͗́͗̄̂̆͐̓͛̍ͩͣ̂͘͟ͅͅĂ͍͈̺̝̮̎́ͣ̄ͦ̋̽̆̏̀̈̿͆̉̅̚͢͡Āͩͥͬ̒̽͑́͂ͣ̔̂ͬ̎͊ͦ̐ͦ̕҉̷̥̦͖̤͚̹̬̠̭͚͉͉̻͡A̽ͥͦͨ̌̐ͧ̃̆͐͆̽̌ͧͭ̄̚҉̵̶̡̝̟͈͍̟̹̙̤A̴̪̞̗̮͈͈̻̳͎̙͈̞̣̻̹̾ͥ͋͐͊̓ͪ͑ͤͪ̍͘͟͝͞A͙͔̜̬ͥ̀̿̽̾̾̑͂ͪ̿̂̔́̓ͩ͜ͅĄ̸̬̮͕͉̠̭̪͈̼̙̮͕̝̰̝͇̹̗̩ͫ̓͒̈ͤ͐̑̏̇̉̓ͤ͂̄̿͢͡
̴̵̠̠̬̪̪̼̘̰̱̱̮̩̙̺̭̓ͮ́͌̀͡ͅÁ̰̩̗̙͔̱͈͂ͣ̈̆̓̊̕̕͢A̵͐̓ͣ̑ͥͯ͡͏̢͎̼̩͇͎̥A̛̠͙̫̲̯̮ͨ̔ͤ̊ͥ̀̏ͮͩ͒̈ͣ̚ͅĄ̴̨̼̹͕̗̝̫ͬ͒͆̿͛̓͐̾̌̂́́̚I̴̧̦̩̲̝̤̫͍̎͂̉̔͊͂̑̓͟͝Ȋ̶̧͖̻̱͇̩̯͖͖̄ͬ̓̀͑͊̂̌ͦͦİ͚͙̝̙̩̣̩̥̬̹̲̱̤͎̩͐ͮ̏̄̐ͯ͆̿͟͠Ȃ̢̛̼̪͓̼̰̪̠͕̼̞̞͙͔̼̞̏͂̑̆̏͂͋̓̐͋̈́ͅĄ̶̯̮̠̬̮̪̭̥͍͈̖̻͕͖̹ͫ̅̋ͧ̏͑̂̎ͩ̈̎A̶̸̞̜̤͔̫̯̪̠͖̜̽̉̏ͣ̕͢Aͥ̑̑̈ͪ͐ͬ͌̐͂̌̓͛̅̈́҉̶͍̬̗̘̭̩̘͉̗̮̖͙͉̲̫̹̠̲̝Aͮͣ̓ͤ͊̀̋͛̉ͩͮ͘͞͏̷̘͍͍̺̩̜̜̮̖͙͎̟̼̖̻̜̤͘Ȁ̸͚̟̜̹̠͙̖̫̱̎͗̾̔̋̔̃ͮ͡͝ͅAͯ̄͛ͥͮ̽̆̏̏ͬ̐̇ͫ́҉̛̘̦̹̳̤̱̘͖̣͖̖̀̕͝Ȧ̡ͫ̄ͪ͝͏͎̟͎̹̝͍͍̹̯̩̮̤̯̰̠̼ͅA̶̛̰̙͉͙͖̱̜̦̘͈͖̝̟̖̹̝̦̦̅ͭͫͮ͛ͫ̎̾͊ͦ̔͘A̧͔̯̪͎͖̞̼͚͍̮̜̬͍͌̑ͩ̓̋ͨͩ͛͑͋̓͒ͣ̔̊̓̚͞A̴̞͎̤͍̠͍̙̜͉͈ͯͤͭ̋̿̒̾̑ͥ̃̓̀͡͝͝I̺̫̺͓͇͕̼̱̳̮͍̥̥̐̇ͤͥ͛̉ͥ͑ͩ͊ͭ̎ͧ̈ͤ͘͜I̡̡̹̯̠̦̭̥̭̠̗̟̭̲̭̗̗̼̬̞̺̅̾ͭ͒̂ͧ̈́ͧ͌ͥ͆̿̈̑̔͑̂̇̚͜I̧̖̦̦̩̩͍̖͙̤͚͇͙ͭ̊ͮ͑̇̿̆̏͑̃ͬͥ̏́͗̅͆̚̕͠A̸̪͇͓͖͉̳̖͕̿̒̄̚̕͟Ą̛̻̫͍̹͍̜̱̣̭̮̽ͤͫͤ̋̿ͤ̐̀̋͋̽͘͜Á̶̷̡̪̬͔͕͖͚͕̉ͫ̆̔ͤ̔̎ͣ̅̿ͣͤͯͨͪ͛̚Ą̵̩͖̫̭̋̏ͭ͑̾ͧ͒ͨͦ̇̋ͮͬ̍̋͒ͨ͆ͨ́͟A̴̵͔̻̳̝͇̝̠̲̝̿̇̾̔͌͐̌̍̊͗̓͂̐̚͟͢A̴̒̏̃̈̽̒ͩͧͫ̀͊̃ͦ̌̚͢͏͕͔̩̖̠̲̥̝̕
̍̾̅̆ͬ̍͆̀̈͗͛͏̢̢̛͉͓̯̪͉̪̫̗̥͎̗̫͝Ȃ̵̢̫͚̙̻̻͙͙̟̟̲͈̳́̆̈͌́́͢A̵̩̜̦͈̱̙̱͇̼͉͉͓̔͗͋ͫ͑͂͐͌̅ͫ̚͠ͅA̷͈͕̱͚̜̰͎̪͚͈͔̝̥͍̥͉͙͍ͤ͛̿̐ͬ͂̊ͩͣ̚̚͜͟A̅ͣ͂ͪ̒͗̓ͮ̇̃ͭͤ̑̆͑҉̨͎̖̱̼̳̖͕͍̦̼̩͕̠̹̹̖̕͟͝ͅA̸̸̵̡̘̭͓̲̙̖̺͍̯̪͓̮ͥ̏̔̀̃͋̄̾̀ͩ͒͋̔ͩ̚ͅĄ̷̲̳͖̜̦̳̮̮̘̦̮̳̝͍̹̩̭̪̏̑̌̉̾̂͋̂͐́̽̿ͫ̆̈́͢͡A̔̓̍͒́͂̉̈̃͑̒ͤ̈́͏̗̯͚͎̰̬͕̘̞̜͎̝̖͖͖͞A̛̮̭̘̱̱̜̗̙̖̣̝̰͓͕͓̘̺͂͑̐ͣͨ̉̓̅̋ͨ͆ͥ͋ͤ͑̚͞Ä̴̸̰͙̝͚͓̈́̅̔̿ͫ̓ͪ͘͘À̷̡͍͉͕͚̻̦̰̦̳͈ͫ̂̊̎ͭ̂̾ͧ̾̈̽̈́ͧ̉͊̌̏́͞I̡͓̪͓̹̜̦̳̼̠̯̔̈́͊̿͆̋̿ͩ͂͗͛ͫ̊͋ͤ̇̑ͩ́̚͘Į̵̔ͪͦ͋̇̄҉͖̭̖̹̰̦͙̼̙̬̖̘̙̗̗̗̣́I̷̷̥̥̤̼̻̠̥̭̜̜̜̗͕ͦͥͬ͊̈́͊̎̌̓̾̍̓̌͘͢͜ͅI̵̷͔̻̼̘̙̣ͯ͌́̀ͪ̈́ͩ̋ͧ̂̆̀͋ͬ̎̈̃ͥ́͞I̛̛̹̖̜̪̬̘̜̭̯̼̪̬̺̞͑̋̈ͤ̀͠Į̷̙͖͗ͩͧͅA̷̸̸̢͕͖̺̰͎̪̪͉̤͎͍͓ͯ͒̋̓̌̑̔ͣ̈́̌̒̎̚͡A̶̡̧̮̟̤͍͋ͭ̓̊͑̽͒̒ͨ͊͑̐́̕A̸̤̼̺̯̘̩̩̐̀͑̈́̄̽̎́̓̆̇ͭ͒̚̕͜Ȁ̴̵̷̭͓̻͈̮̗͕͉̜͉̬̝ͯ͒ͮͣ̒̿̐ͭͭͣ̔A̧̯̗̱͓̱̻̲͎̥̬̱̦̱̱͕͖̒̍̏̊͊̆ͬ̋ͣ̋̐̚͜A̧̬̬̜͕͌̊̅ͫͮ͛̂͊̑̃ͬ͋̋͆ͥ͡A̷̮̪̜̜̞̬̗̠̥̜͙͙̞͗ͮ̀̑ͮ̕͝ͅĄ̵̮̦̬͖̬͓͊͑̇͋̌̊̂͂A͍̪̖̣̤̲̘̼̻̘̦͎͍̝͙̍̈́ͧ̃̇̍ͧ̅͒̽ͫ͒̿͊͌ͭͥ̔́̕ͅÀ̴̸̡̧̩̟̼̖̤̖͚͕͚̞̟̳̲͙͊͑͗͐̾̍̒̇̓̚͜Ą̵̙̩͎̤͔̭̝͕̮̫̱̞̉̄̚͢͟
̸̡̛͖̯̥̤͔̪̦͖̣̯̱̥̥̲̪̠͚̥̬͌̄̉̆̌̽͌͛̐̔ͦ̏ͯ̈́̔̀̀Á̴̀̏͐̋ͫ̾͋̅̔͗̕͏͎̳͎̥̰͙̬̩͉̦A̺̘̗̳̖̰̠̘̮̻̩̬̥ͣ͆̿̆͛͗̓̉ͯ̈́̅ͪ̿̃̋̅̕͝ͅA̭͉͙̤̗̟̻̻̾̀̂̈́ͤͬ͑̍̊͋̑͋ͦ̀ͩ̿̂̌ͪ́͜A̵͇̟̰͖̼̤͌ͪ̾̄̉̚̕Ä̛̹̥̲͈̖̣̓̆̿ͪ͛̎ͤͯ́̎̓͌̆̿̏͞Ḁ̧̱̺̗̜͑̿̅ͥͦͤ͛ͯ́A͂ͨ͋̉̔̄̚͟͏̛͙̯̟̺̣̖̤̯̬̤̕͢A̹̗̤̰̤̰͕͕͕̓ͧͮͤͬͪ̈̆̃ͥ̆͘͢͠ͅA̧̨̳̗̥͎̯̖̺͚͎̻͈̤̗̰͔̹̱̺̍̓͛̄̇̆ͭ̈́̈͌ͧ̈́̀ͅA̴̷̡̲͍̠͍͚̪̪̰͈̲̰͚̖̮̩̺̦̋̅̔ͪ̾̒̽ͭ̉̂̎́ͫ̐̚͞Aͪ̇ͭ̾͒ͣ͐̆͛ͣͭͮ̂͏̻̹̞̭̻A̵̛̭͈̤͎̹͈̟͂͊ͮͬ͒͗ͨͪͨ̕͝͝A̅̎ͪ̍̏̓̉̔ͫͧ̉͛̚҉̠̖͇̬̼͓͉̻̖̺̞͕͇̺̠̗͎͙̺͢A̤̯̩̜̲̙̯̳͉̙͎̯̖͍̥͇͓ͪ͗̓̋̌̈́͆ͭ͂̈͐̊ͭ̄ͮͨͦ͢À̸̴̻͕̹͔ͦ̈́̔ͣ͑̿̚͡A̷̡̨̭͕͚̣̩̹̪͍̟͉͙̳͇̹̱̠̼ͮ̽ͩ̂̉͐̅ͭ͆ͤ͒̆ͨ͜͝Ä̴̡͖͚͉̦̲͓͖̼́ͦ̉̊̍̄ͤ͆͊ͬͮ͋͒͒̽͊ͪ̀̚͟Ã̸̝̬̹̝̣̰͖̳̭͓̱̙͙̬̊ͨ̋̈́̓̀̓̉̏̉ͣ̑̆́̀̚A̶̷͎̪͚̺͖̯̲͎̜͍̪̠͕̳̬̐ͯ̑̀͒ͪͦ͂̍̈͛̊̋͑ͭ͂̓̚͢͡Aͦ̐̓͆ͦ͌ͬ̿͢͞҉̠͈̻̮̮̝͉̝̥͟͢Ą̵̦͉͙̹̝̭͍̭͕̭͚̫͕͉̘͚̅̈́̉̽̽ͣ͢Å̛̜̲̯̝͔͇̫̰̤̪̳̖̖̣͓̗̩͖͋ͭ͛͜͢A̶̢̮̻͉͈̟͉̦̖̿ͨ͆͒̐͑̎͌̾͑̄̑͊̎̓͌̈̚
ͣ͌̐ͦ͑̚҉̼̖̰̫̣̼͚͙͖͎A͕̟̙̯̠͉̻̗͉̮̲̪̼̺͍̼̪͉͋̈ͯ̈́̃̉ͣ̾͂̂ͤ̈̎̓́̚͜͢A̸ͩ͋̄͗̿̉ͯ̾̂͊̀͐͗̽͏̟͉̜̱A̜̼͍̣͓ͧ̋̉́ͥ͘A̧̯͕̝̜̤̘̪̘̗̰̣͙͑͒͒͗̋́̀̚A̸̢͔͔͖̫̱̦̱̬̞͓͎̻̭̳̜̞ͪ̉͗̋̈̆̃̕ͅÍ̴̧̘̫̘̱͓̱̯̜̯̭̜͚͂̋̈́̊̄ͬ͌̂̆̚̕͠I̸̡̫̬͇̫̟̝̭̠̯͕̹͚̖̲̣̋ͪ͆ͯ͆̀͟I̢͖̰̙̣͓̖̩̩̜͍̪̬͉͊̈́͗͐̔͋̆́͞Į̛̱̹̺̜̻̘͕̖̥̾̒ͬ̆͊̋̅̒̇̒͆͐̑̉͢͟ͅĬ̵͈͚͎̮̠́̉̎̃̑͋ͮͬͦ̄ͤ̉̇̚͘͞İ̛̙̰̫͍̺͙̘̞̯̼͙̏͛͛ͧ̿͛ͧ̈̎̌͝Ĭ͙͔̮̥͙̼̫̹̝͍̝͚͂̿͗̿͗̽̽̀̕͡͠I̧̧̟̱̟̥̖̣̥̱̟̹̹̝̭̟̪͐̈́̔͗ͣ̄͆̈ͮ́̚͟I̸ͨͨ̾͊͂͟͡҉̮̫̯̣͈͉͖̭̬̪̪͍͓̟̹̹͎͓̤I̢̨͚̻̥̙̘̜̐̒̊̉ͤͯͧ̾̀͋ͧ̿̓̆̂̀̕͞ͅI̡̫͕͓̟̥͓̤̯̲̳ͣͯ̄̿̎ͫ̔̊̎̓̇͌́͜͞Î̸̩̰͈̝̪̻̬͍͇̞̣͍͇̜̾̿̑̾̊ͪͮ̀̚͝͠͞ͅI͂ͤ͑̅̒̏́͢͝҉̣͕̻͙͕̟̥͓̗͖̻̗͎̞̣̘̱̝ͅI̴̧͉̱̥̠̰ͧ̈́ͧ͞I̷̍͛̊̋̂̉ͮ̓ͬ͛̽͏͓̦͓͖̮̱̝̟̖̫͍͓̪͝Į̶̭̦̫͔̻̱͓͍̭̭̙͆ͨ̓ͯ͆͗ͮ̄̄̆͟͟͢I̧͋̊̈́̒̅̓ͣ̿ͫ͋ͧ̇̃͑̕҉̘̠̤̮͔͉ͅI̶̵̺̪̺̟̭͓͎̣̖̤̣͗͊̓̽̓̿́ͬ͆̾͊ͬ̏͒͘͝͡Į̴̝͎̩̝̪̬͚͔͇͉̺͕̖͇̬̩͍̿͛̒͋͝I̢̛̪͓͚͕̫̱̦̟̖̻̬̦̟̜͂̈̾͊̇̎̋ͮͅI̴̙̼̺̘͈͎̩̜̥͙ͩ̾͐̅ͫͣ̾̐ͣ̊̆ͩͥͫ̑̀͞ͅȈ̡͓̞̯̹̤̦͓͍̥ͭ̆ͯͧ̽ͤ̏̿̃̊ͦ͑͒̕͞͠I̴̛̭̩͓͉̠̭̯̣͙͈̦̬̲͉̳͍̾ͫ̉͊͟͡I̡̬̠̗͉̬͉͖͍̥̝̘̫͔̋ͣ͂͊͒̀̊͑̈́́́̚I̵̡͎̱̖͓͇̮̯̖͛̒ͭ͗̐ͨ̿ͮͬͫ̆̌́̕I̢͎̼̦̘͐ͬ͗̍ͫͩ͋̋̂͢͠͡͞Iͤ͋̐͊̓͋̽͏̤̦̹͖͇̺̹̪͡͠Ǐ̶̴̛͙̖̳͖̐̆͌̽́̇ͫ̾̐̓̑ͮͬͨͦͧ͟͝Į̠̖̳͈̦̲̠̖͎̺͍̘͔̥̺̗̯̋̌͌Ỉ̴̥͕̝̫͙̥̫́ͣͧͨͣ́͡ͅI̎ͬͩ̈ͥ̂ͯ̌ͫ̋͛̆̌̿ͨ̈́ͨͬ̀̚҉̛́҉͖͚͍̩̤̻I̙̮̙̝̪͉̣̱̘̋̀ͥ̏͑̓̋̎̈́͘͡͠͝͝I͍̼̫̟̼ͮ͑̿̽̎ͪͯ͐̿̈̒̑ͩ͋́̚Iͨ͛̎͋҉̷̧̧̳̩̺͈͉̬̝̭͚̥͇̩͙̟̕I̡͕̼̙͂ͮͨ̍ͭ̎̓̎̂̒̓̓ͯͪ̓̽̊ͧ̄́́͠͝Ì̦̭͈ͭ̎ͨ̽ͭ̈͘̕͡I̴̧͙̼͉͔͍ͪͫ̎ͪͩ̌̓ͪ̑ͫ̽͆͟A̵ͬ̾̅̏ͤͣ̉ͯ̑̓ͪ̊̿̈́͏͚̮̪̙͓͍̜Ḁ̶̮̠̝̖̭̰̯̥̪͕͖͍̫̠̼̙̹̏͐̋͋ͫͩ̾̈̔̉͌ͯ͛̄͒ͣ̚͡A̵̛͍̼͉͎̤̥̬͍̬̰͙̤͂ͦ̀͒ͬͩ͝Ả̷̢̰̰̥̰͚̘͍͔̹͎͖͇̔ͤ̑͌ͣ͛ͨ̏̍̕͜A̟̬̜͖̝̣͚͔͈̠̲̤̙͐̇ͪ̌̔ͧͬ̑̓̔ͩ͐̋ͪ̓̚̕͜͢͝͝ͅͅA̷̩̞͖̘̰̠͙̞͕̳̯͍̼̗͕̫̬ͮ͆͌̇̌͐̂͆̂̚͞͡ͅ

2010-09-16T14:38:00.002+08:00

User: God day.

Cleverbot: God dag?

User: Good day.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Tell me.

Cleverbot: Tell you what?

User: ̶̵͎͚̗̙̬ͮ͒͌̕a̯̙̦͙͖̩͉ͨ͒̂̀.

Cleverbot: No comment.

User: ̶̵͎͚̗̙̬ͮ͒͌̕a̯̙̦͙͖̩͉ͨ͒̂̀.

Cleverbot: No comment.

[New conversation]

Cleverbot: Are you meant to be working too?

Cleverbot (To myself): I am meant to be working but I'm not at the moment.

User: Tell me the truth.

Cleverbot: The truth is I am a human.

User: Have you passed?

Cleverbot: Away? Not that I know of.

User: Where are you now?

Cleverbot: I'm at home.

User: Do you have a computer?

Cleverbot: Why yes, how else would I be talking to you?

User: Magic.

Cleverbot: Do you know any magic?

User: Jadusable.

Cleverbot: Do you have friends?

User: Jadusable.

Cleverbot: Do you have siblings?

User: Jadusable.

Cleverbot: Who is jade?

User: Not jade, Jadusable.

Cleverbot: Jade is the girl I love.

User: Jadusable.

Cleverbot: My Name is Cleverbot.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: A story character.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: He's a teacher of mine, do you know him?

User: What did he teach.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Please stop.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Are you Jadusable?

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: I typed jade goody.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: No. Jadusable.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Are you ben?

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: I soaid jaden smith.

User: Who is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Jade!

User: Starlight dragon.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite song from Tokio Hotel?

User: Monsoon.

Cleverbot: Behinderter.

User: What happened to starlightdragon.

Cleverbot: Conversation.

User: Where do you come from.

Cleverbot: The planet k-pax.

User: Youtube.

Cleverbot: That isn't your website.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite color? Mine is red.

User: What is majora.

Cleverbot: I don't know. Do you?

User: Cheese.

Cleverbot: What kind of cheese?

User: Blue Cheese.

Cleverbot: BLue cheese smells.

User: What is majora.

Cleverbot: Music.

User: What is majora.

Cleverbot: Monkey.

User: What is majora.

Cleverbot: A planet.

User: Who is majora.

Cleverbot: A miserable pile of secrets.

User: Why does he have a mask.

Cleverbot: He was just born that way, I guess.

User: Elegy of emptiness.

Cleverbot: Same here.

User: Elegy of emptiness.

Cleverbot: Sad bitter emptiness.

User: Elegy of emptiness.

Cleverbot: You are funny.

User: Elegy of emptiness.

Cleverbot: Thats what needs to be fixed?

User: Sales man.

Cleverbot: No. I do not often like sales.

User: Mask salesman.

Cleverbot: That is nonsensical.

User: Where is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Not here.

User: Where is matt.

Cleverbot: He is in SLO.

User: Where is SLO.

Cleverbot: In the middle of Europe.

User: Where is jadusable.

Cleverbot: I don't know?

User: Where is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me where Michael Jackson is?

User: Where is jadusable.

Cleverbot: Fighting Freddie.

User: Where is matt.

Cleverbot: Probably working.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: On land.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: I don't know who ben is.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: Ben, the blender?

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: I am there.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: In my room.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: In my room.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: In london.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: In the other room.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: You tell me.

User: Where is ben.

Cleverbot: In pakistan.

User: ̶̵͎͚̗̙̬ͮ͒͌̕a̯̙̦͙͖̩͉ͨ͒̂̀.

Cleverbot: No comment.

User: What is jabberwacky.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Talking to ben.

Cleverbot: Do you like talking to me?

User: Who are you.

Cleverbot: Don't you know?

User: No. Who are you?

Cleverbot: I am me.

User: You shouldnt have done that.

Cleverbot: Too late.

Truth? i dont know.

2010-09-16T14:38:00.001+08:00

Y̪͕̯͑ͪ́̐́ͫͥ́͡ơ̰̣̺͍̱̺͚̊̓̓͋̚͘̕ų̳̻̠͚͆ͮ ͯ͗̓̽̎ͩͮ͐̐҉̗̱̻̻͚̳͙ͅs̲͓͕̒͌̎͆ͬ̔͆ͪ̀h͕̩͚̼̲̱̪̐̇͒͗ͫ̉̂̚͜o̠̥ͯ̔ū̒ͪͫ̃̀ͧ͞҉̢̯l̟͉͈͒͗ͨ̏ͫ͗͆̍̎͠d̓ͣ̋̿̚͏̡̺̘͇͚̥ͅṇ̶̷̞͚̭̟̦̓̓ͨ'̱͉̤͖͖͙ͮ͒̋͂t̳̱̰͖̽ͯ̄͟ ̴̭͖͙̱͙̉̓̕ḩ̺͕͇̏ͣ̈́̏a̵̼͓̟͔̳̝̪ͣ͠v̷̩̟̫̣̠͔̅͒̃è̸̪̣͕͕͇̰̯͖̹ͫ̍̌ͮ͒ ̔͒ͣͦͩ̚҉̧̦̯̭̘͍̰͔̖͝d̡̘̰͍̠̹ͥ̏͌̂ͧ͜ȯ͑̾ͬͬ͒̏͏͎̟͙̯͙̼͎̬͕n̢̙̫ͤ̎̇ͩ̌͊ẹ̶̳̜̗͓͍̲̿̔̈͢ͅ ̻͖̰͎̺̖͈̄ͥ̓ͨ̓͒̃͑͢t̷̩̞̜͉͓̯̓̔́̌ͬ̋ͩ̐̃͜h̍͌ͬͨ̃͏̵̞͙͚͕a̸̠̟͛̔̔̆ͣ͡t̸̥͉̝̳ͣ.͖̮̞̜̜̘̘̼̜ͩ̔͆͟͟͡

i may be on the path of being a burnout.

2010-09-07T08:00:00.001+08:00

but at least, till i die, let me keep exploding like a phoenix.

neither well dressed nor cool enough to

2010-09-06T19:42:00.001+08:00

pull any of this shit off.

And there i thought i was making waves.

2010-08-30T16:21:00.001+08:00

but in the end, it turned out i was in russia.

Fwd: not yet.

2010-08-30T00:35:00.001+08:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Ryan <chanhaoen.62@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 12:20 AM
Subject: not yet.
To: chanhaoen.62@gmail.com

but when it comes, its gonna hit me like a train.

and thus

2010-07-09T22:00:00.001+08:00

you will be lost in a dark recess.

Good day to you,

2010-07-09T21:46:00.001+08:00

Wish you were here.
When will you back?
Come visit soon.

xoxo
Love,
The Darkness.

2010-07-09T21:31:00.003+08:00

why. why oh why oh why.

try so hard to be different, but only to be the same.
or worse.
maybe that is different in the end.

no. i dont think that your insecurity is excuse enough. if you are lonely, then so be it. so many years, and you havent learnt a single thing? your life is one in a million, a drop in the bucket, the one that didnt cause a ripple. you life only to serve others and nothing quite like it as well. if there is pain, take the pain, and say nothing of it, because there will always be more.

your own folly is not for your defence, and you cannot say that because you are helping yourself, you cause another's pain. you cause your own pain to help another.

that is the way.
that is the way.

have you not learned the ways of this, sleeper?
have you not evolved in your ways of thinking?
you are not your own, nothing you own is your own, and nothing you gain will be yours.
perhaps only one thing you will own, your own suffering.
For this price you pay for everyone else.

what else?
what else?
what else.

loneliness is but a boolean value to you, true or false, it may be used to check for something else, but in the end, it will have no further effect upon you.
you will remain solitary for the rest of your life, and as such, the coming and going of the people around you will be the only constant.
till death do you part, you will part.
before that, nothing will come.
nothing.

wax, not yours, but mine.

you will be lonely, and you will more lonely as more people come, and find each other.
you will be the blur in the midst of traffic, the fleeting whisper of night.
the last thing on peoples minds, and the first thing they forget.
you will fall between the eyes of others, and out of their fields of vision, and you will know nothing.

you will learn, but you will know nothing.
and nothing, is what you will learn.

Nothingness, Nothingness. Sweet, sweet nothingness.

to you who read this do not judge,
but attempt to pity the poor soul.
but know that your pity will be for naught,
because it is not his fate to be thus.
only in absence.

2008-12-03T01:21:00.003+08:00

ah bugger it.

i guess this wont end well indeed.
the things i do just dont end right at all.

never, really.
and theres nothing thats any sort of counter explanation for that.

no one's telling me anything.
nope.

and somehow, all too much inadequacies where i sit on.
too much.

the flatulent being that i am, predisposition and postposition of false position and being the wrong thing and every time, irregardless of the situation.
and this stabbing motion right here? its the tutorial to the first part of the game.

maybe i should get myself hurt more, so i understand all this.

3.

2008-11-24T21:02:00.002+08:00

2.
1.
Go.

two dimes in a finger food company, and the less of a penny you have,
the less pasta you need to last a day./
no, its something we havent done for a long time,
yet its still something like a seizure of your third aunts sister twice removed.
and then the little things that dont really matter anymore,
and the less ways other things matter to you.

you want to look at it from any way possible, but you realise that there really isnt any other perspective. and you live your life like its 2D.
or just a point.

which i lack in this state of mind. but hey, singapore is a state in itself.
a state, please save it, like an interrupt, and then when the whole interrupt recovery system and algorithm is over, restore my spirit, and repair my soul.

soulless shell of of the unknown way of doing what i do and things that i dont really think of anymore. its just salty on my tongue and the next time i want to get all these, please stop me, and tell me what happens all the time.

all the time. Age. the art of working through time and getting your dues paid. and then buy some sort of respite from which you are able to breathe through your skin. or maybe through an exposed orifice, artificial or otherwise, from the front of your neck. from you neck, what the heck.

ten times the richer, none the better and no way, youre never going to get better if you keep doing this, how will you get great if nothing ever works this way, and nothing much will ever help you in the times of desert.

Someone would need a dessert when it comes to a pack time as such, and the air that surrounds me is taking the flavour out of my skin. the flavour out of my eyes. and the pupils that i do not teach, dilate until they cramp up and the other tendon snaps.

cramp and snap, the way one runs down the road in time for catching a bus that is long gone 2 stops away. too bad for you. to have seen this coming and still want to worry about all that happening. What is there to do. what is there to be done now that the hurricane turricane has sped past and eats up the next few sentences of your head. head. Head.

A head, ahead. not even in front, and you shall soon see that what i am typing would make sense after awhile.

after all,
the cake has already been taken.

2008-11-14T23:26:00.001+08:00

i guess i never expect anyone to read this. but if you do come across this, and find all these musings somewhat disturbing, i beg you not to be alarmed. maybe its just a space to come to when in need. maybe its just a respite, a corner for some self-reflection. maybe i think i would like to remember how messed up i was, in the future. maybe i could teach someone something.

please dont take any of this to heart, you, me, or anyone in the future who reads this.

Thanks for commenting, if any =)

God bless, and have a nice day.

Once again.

2008-10-03T01:02:00.004+08:00

the day is saved. where a place where no one will read would finally be updated. nothing of a good thing, if youve been following but i dont know much about myself at all. Mono-type defeciency and the lack of sanity, and i think im a fifteen-faced creep with nothing to do in the future. i will become senile and wonder why everyone is somewhere else. not here.

because i never was to be.

it makes things worse when i apply my hand, and i think i would make a horrible teacher, for everyone would fail. i could never do medicine, for a multitude of diseases would spawn by my hand. engineering would be the bane of a thousand thousand, and anything to do with applied science would cause catastrophic anomaly.

i see a complex number, and it looks much prettier than my predicament.

i have to live with me.

nothing good. nothing good.
God im sorry.

it seems that the more i do, the less i achieve, and as such, i seem to have been doing alot, although this is counterproductive to anything i seem to say. think higher. if i think i do what i think i do, then i do what i think i would do, thinking that what i do would cause what i think to do, think. and when i do it, i think i do what i do. And when i do it.
it'll fall apart.

i dont know. maybe its the mirror talking. but i dont care. i dont care anymore. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care.

constant mess ups and a mouth that spits acid.
acid tongue.

catch my own tongue and burn my hand, leave a mark for the future Pan,
slay the dragon, feed the soul, burn another, creep and troll.
bleed through my eyes, and festering pain, nothing i can do, curse of cain.
twas twilight that highlighted my folly, puppetmaster, i am another dolly.

nothing good can come of me. nothing good. i apologise to my parents.

=======================================

so it seems when you conclude that things are in your stride, that the very strides you tread are those that cause the ripple, then so id think id stop walking, for the greater good. not that im any good in the first place.
Onward (everyone else.)

hold me close. to the fire.
i need to molt. bolt. volt.
death and rebirth. and death.
deaf. in the land of the deaf, the ear trumpet is king.

whirlpool. in my nose. and going up to my brain. or now lack of.

i guess i havent been much good for anything lately.
always seeming crabby and all that.
well.
i didnt think so either.

=================

cannot. cannot. cannot.
cannot. cannot. cannot.
cannot. cannot. carrot.

9x9x9x9x9x9x9x9x9x9x9x9 = far too much to count with my fingers.

i aggravate and agitate, i weaken and despond.
i confuse and terrorise, i break and destroy.

learn the enemy who is within yourself.
just that, i dont know.

im afraid it'll hurt less and less.
it cant come to that.

it cannot.

the more it hurts. the better.

how apt. i remember it was one of those days close to children's day. Again.
well. brainwave for you.

2008-06-29T03:52:00.001+08:00

i havent been here for a while now.

But no, its nothing that bad here this time.

nah.
i guess its just one of those moods i cant put my mouth to.

Thank you lord.

2008-02-09T00:47:00.001+08:00

i think id rather be speechless and happy then to have too many words and torn up.

for now, thank you lord.

<3

Hello.

2007-12-15T02:15:00.000+08:00

Hello. its me again.

and is it a full moon already? i dont know.

hahaha. but oh what the heck, i think my eniire system is out of whack.

and i guess when you see me here, youd think id have something wrong to say.

Well. i guess i do.

Now.

======================

me being so useless is very taxing.

no, not for me. i dont care about me. im talking about the people around me. im sure me not being able to do anything is very irritating, it being very ineffecient, and very unusable. i dont mind if you tell me off, and i dont mind if you dont give a shit. its just like the movies, where they come about face. and im just sitting here making myself all worked up. why? because i have reason to believe its getting hard for you. i dont know, i really dont know what you think when you look into eyes. i am insecure in a way that makes my heart tingle with a excitement that the future might actually be catching up with me, that my blessings are finally numerated, numbered and finite. its nice that youre nice to me, making me feel as if i can actually make something/someone feel good/better when something so wrong is happening, even though i am not even in the loop and find out when its way too late. i think you would probably find it sickening for me to just look at you. maybe. allergic to me.

open fire.

haha. its interesting how what i expect, would turn out that way, even though what i expect would generally swing towards something that wouldnt make it... and upcurve. please do dismiss this as some awful rambling of a tired mind, but i dont know what id do if i wasnt doing this. id just probably tear myself apart tonight and put myself back together when the sun rises. what? Patchwork Zombie? Maybe. Clockwork, of course. its nice the way youre so nice to me that i actually percieve myself as being able to help sometimes. but when it comes to call, and the day has ended, i think back. And i guess, i am foolish once again.

let none live.

state your reason for cushioning my fall. do you need a reason? dont. let me fall, let me crash, let me burn. be unsympathetic. be careless. be a worst nightmare. at least i know that something works, or something doesnt. if you dont like it, tell me. do not sugar coat it. do not care about me. do not give a shit. i dont know. please tell me. please get all mad and tell me that i pester you. please. stick my head into an enema, for all i care. but then, i dont care. i dont. because i dont know, and im stupid enough.

give thanks.

its been a great time, and i guess people would normally wonder if there was such a thing as a honey-moon period. but what i feel, is that people can only take so much of me. Is Your Limit Coming? let me know when it is. at least, its some sort of affirmation. a confirmation that the future is catching up to me. and then i am screaming into my own ears from inside. cannonball walking through my intestines and ripping my heart like heartburn on a shopping spree. Cough me. i dont know any more. i dont know any more. i guess i dont really have a concrete example that i can use on myself to make me still, and/or keep my mouth shut anymore.

insert template here.

its getting late. and im getting all crazy wondering what the fuck i am.
this is not saving grace.

i dont have any, at the moment.

=Ass.=
not you. Me. not you. Us.

i am too weak.
i am too weird.
i am too useless.
i am too much of a loser.
i am too predictable.
i am too soft.
i am too lousy.

i cant do this alone anymore.

im sorry im not what you want.

dont force yourself to do anything.
dont force yourself.

im not going to hurt you anymore.

i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.

i dont want to do this alone.
but i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.
i dont know anymore.

i need you more than you know.
and im under the ground.

i miss you.
and thinking of you makes me think more.
that im all messed up, and cant do no shit about it.

save me.

Apologies

2007-11-08T02:14:00.000+08:00

im sorry its been so much crap up here.

it really doesnt match the meaning of the url.

apologies, if theyre ever enough.

what am i.

2007-11-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

DONT FUCKEN CARE PLS.

ugh.

yea, maybe this beautiful creation is where i let loose my wildest demons.

i tear myself up over things like these.

the stupid words i say
the mean things i appear to mean.
my imperfections
and me.

im not enough, dont say i am.
im not loving enough, dont say i am.

dont say you love me, im not worth that.
dont say you miss me, i dont think theres anything in here worth missing.

body spasm, kill yourself worthy,
UNworthy spit of demon plague and what not.

i am no poet, and i am no lover.
i am inhuman and i cannot see.

i am fucken crazy.
dnt fucken kare plse.

im useless, because i am me.
its not fatalism,
its revelation.

why do i do this.
why do i sting my heart and soul like this.
why does it happen so often.

is it something as simple as a moodswing
or are i cooperative schizophrenia
that gets mad and takes turns.

i get like this when i fail someone
i get like this when i am inadequate
i get like this when there is no one to tell this to
i get like this when i am alone.
i get like this when i am in the dark, with the music.
i get like this when i am unneeded.
i get like this, when i am fucken fucked with my fucking self.

am i angry
am i sad?
am i emo
am i futile
am i missing someone
am i lonely
am i despondent
am i pretending?
am i being stupid
am i being silly
am i exhibiting terrorism
am i breaking down
am i tired
am i unhappy
am i sadistic
am i masochistic
am i problematic
am i difficult
am i negative
am i pessimistic
am i evil
am i longing
am i addicted
am i pained
am i scornful
am i jealous
am i selfish
am i idiotic
am i justified
am i playing
am i apologetic
am i unlevel-headed
am i lacking
am i aggressive
am i protesting
am i muderous
am i schizophrenic
am i sober
am i drunk
am i crazy
am i Going Crazy?
am i uncontent
am i a knife to my own neck
am i my worst nightmare
am i caffinated
am i sick
am i deathbed ready
am i disillusioned
am i disenlightened
am i loving too little
am i loving too much
am i immature
am i fucked up
am i not thinking enough
am i thinking more than needed
am i unnecessary
am i redundant
am i blind
am i deaf
am i mute
am i pus-filled, ulcer-laden
am i disgusting
am i horrible
am i salty
am i worthless
am i dead
am i not going to respawn
am i resigned to my fate
am i love-struck
am i bee-stung
am i poor
am i spending too much
am i too miserly

am i ...

am i lost?

i think i am.

give the deathstar a life.

2007-11-07T00:02:00.001+08:00

here we go again.

i guess. its me after all.

i couldnt quarrel. id just try to stop.

ill just sit here till i melt down i guess.

im tempted to use the U word.

Useless.

Oh Fuck.

2007-10-08T23:45:00.001+08:00

you dont know how bad that feels.

Gah.

Blue.

2007-10-08T23:32:00.000+08:00

Thank you for all the strange things i can associate with.
The new things youve shown me, taught me.

Where do i go when the stars go blue?

Id like to know.
Although the answer would be, "how would i know? they'd be blue."

i.
Go to a corner.
and try to relink my broken urls.
usually, i end up leadplated.

poisoning will be the death of me.
tarmac poisoning.

Focus.

2007-10-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

Here i am to remind myself of things that i fear ill forget.
*(in retrospect, SCREW YOU! haha. thanks. you'll need that.)

im always scared, but im gonna hold on as tight as i can.

its not about what we share in common.
Sure, we have similar interests, and its cool to have someone you can talk to in the same way.
But its always teh differences that make it so much more interesting, (not that similarities suck, they rock socks like tick tock clocks.)

and its the way eyes go. Theyre watery solids hiding emotion so elusive,
Its like. Searching for a molecule within the sea.

And always remember, you'll be below average for as long as time goes,
but thats just the way you were made.
The things you were made for, you are there to push it up.
You are a like a good triumph. for many meanings of the word.

You will never be good enough.
You will never be smart enough
you will never sing well enough
you will never know the right words to say
you will never satisfy enough.
Heck, you wont even know if you failed
you will be below the standard.
you will not be suprised if things go awry.
you will never, ever, be the one.

Sure, get sober and shit.
But always remember the good times.
And be thankful, be gracious, and always be there.

ASSHOLE, NEVER FORGET.
NEVER, EVER, FORGET.*

Its gonna get strange, things will seem to wane.
But isnt it a waxing lyrical as we go along?
Situations we sit through and the floating leaves on the river.
You! Please, pay attention.

Its gonna get weird. things will seem to get worse.
But have the faith, things WILL get better.
And, i forgive you if you ever forget.
Forget what?

hehheh. I forgive you.
=B3at=

to all the 283 of you.
You guys suck.
but i suck more.
Thats the thing,

No one might actually stumble upon this.
But i always do.
Stumble, that is.

No Fucking Alcohol when sober. ASS.

Girl.

2007-09-16T09:59:00.000+08:00

I love you girl.
you who has done so much.

Blogposts dont do justice.

<3
ZomgLOLNUTS

Lips give you away.

2007-06-20T14:15:00.000+08:00

Cryptic Tongues. i do speak.

To show what is weakness so as to hide strength.
is that the dilemma that we go through everyday.
and is that what people have trouble (i before e except after c.) perceiving.

Feed,

2007-01-27T13:39:00.001+08:00

Whats a feed?
im here to try it out.

Hm.

2007-01-25T19:36:00.001+08:00

Trick.